U mad, bro?: I'm too hard on Mike Tomlin, too soft on Ben Cherington, too excited about Pirates

After a week off from “U mad, bro,” my emails and social media messages were overflowing. Here is what I learned after sifting through them.

I’m too hard on Mike Tomlin.

I’m not hard enough on Ben Cherington, but I’m too optimistic about the Pirates.

I’m too nice to Kenny Pickett.

I’m too mean to NFL players.

I need to watch more reruns of 1960s sitcoms.

I think that just about sums it up. So, here’s this week’s Goldilocks edition.

“PaulieG777” lashes out at me quite often on social media. He thinks I’m too hard on Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin.

“Maybe your opinions mean something to Yinzers, but that’s not saying much. To the rest of us, you’re like a broken (expletive) record. Next, you’ll be blaming Tomlin for Climate Change.”

It’s ironic that you make that comp, Paulie. Because climate change deniers and Tomlin fanboys like you are pretty much the same people: Every August, things start to melt a little bit more, and you just keep telling anyone who will listen that there isn’t a problem.

Right now, the only thing disappearing faster than the ice caps are guys on the Steelers roster who can actually remember the franchise’s last playoff win.

But you’re right. The head coach should never be blamed for anything.

Meanwhile, legendary emailer “Uncle Mort” claims I wasn’t hard enough on Ben Cherington leading up to the trade deadline.

”Why are you not more vocal toward the Pirates GM as he ‘dithers’ over adding needed offensive firepower?”

These were the headlines of my last four columns written about the Pirates in advance of the trade deadline.

• Pirates’ comeback in Paul Skenes’ latest outing should slap Ben Cherington right in the face

• Pirates fans are still inflamed about the lineup ruining Paul Skenes’ start on Tuesday (last week’s “U mad, bro?”)

• Get Paul Skenes some offensive help … or just let him hit for himself

• Jim Leyland lamented broken hearts of Pirates fans. I’d welcome one again just to know mine was still beating

Short of breaking into Cherington’s house and stealing his phone so I could’ve negotiated a trade for Brent Rooker on my own, I’m not sure what else I could’ve done, Mort.

This message on social media came from @potentialhuman2 after I wrote a “First Call” entry about Kenny Pickett performing well in the early days of Eagles’ training camp.

”Kenny Pickett is the greatest preseason QB in NFL history. Maybe better than greatest. Regular-season Kenny had the accuracy of a bottle rocket without a stick. Drop back, roll left, miss open receiver by 5 yards.”

Now, now. Let’s be fair.

We all know Kenny Pickett’s hands are way too small to hold a lighter to light the bottle rocket.

More sports

• Hit on quarterback Justin Fields ignites fight that spices up Steelers training camp
• Steelers inside the ropes: With the pads on, running game again prominent
• Pirates activate newly acquired OF Bryan De La Cruz, place OF Joshua Palacios on IL

Dave thinks I was being too optimistic about the Pirates’ chances of getting in the postseason if they did some work at the trade deadline.

”I have to say reading your columns of late would have people thinking you think the Pirates only need an odd piece or two to not only get in the playoffs but actually compete. What have you been smoking? Can you tell me where to get it? Because I know the Pirates might, 2% chance, get in the wild card position but if they go further it’s because they are buying tickets like the rest of us.”

Dave, I actually think that the Pirates would have a better chance in a best-of-three first-round series than they do getting into the playoffs in the first place.

If you think any playoff team really wants to face Paul Skenes, Mitch Keller and (a presumably healthy) Jared Jones in three straight games, then I wonder what it is you are smoking.

I get your skepticism. It is warranted. But as I’m writing this the Pirates are 2½ games out of a wild card spot. The Cardinals are 1½. The Red Sox in the American League are 2.

Am I high if I am suggesting that the Cardinals and Red Sox have a chance to make up that little ground with over 50 games left? Do either of those teams have three starters that good who could line up for a short series?

On Wednesday I posted a column arguing against the NFLPA’s desire to limit media locker room access. I said that it was a poor strategy, in part, because it prevents us from building personal interactions with players, and makes it all the easier to be harder on them when they (or the team) are struggling. It also prevents us from getting to know their positive personal attributes so that we can tell good stories as well.

Tom G. emailed this response.

“To me, that sounds like a threat: ‘Either give me access, or I’ll trash you no matter what.’ And people like you wonder why no one likes the media.”

“To you,” it sounds like a threat. “To me,” your email sounds like you read right over the point about building human relationships with the people we cover just so you could advance a preconceived disdain for my profession.

And people like you wonder why the media so often doesn’t like its own audience.

Finally, Steve G. emailed about the Pirates trading Quinn Priester to Boston for Red Sox 2B/LF prospect Nick Yorke.

”Nick Yorke was my favorite Darrin on ‘Bewitched.’ Glad they got him.”

Actually, Steve, that was Dick York. He’s been dead for 32 years.

However, given enough plate appearances, I’m sure he could still post a better OPS than Jared Triolo or Alika Williams.

Now, if only I could twitch my nose like Elizabeth Montgomery so I could turn Yasmani Grandal into Johnny Bench. Then the Pirates would really be in business.