Tim Benz: An early tinfoil hat conspiracy theory for the new kickoff rule

Here’s a warning for fans attending NFL games this year. The new kickoff format looks really weird in person.

Not bad. Just … weird.

Watching the new kickoffs on television or via video clips, the change wasn’t all that jarring to me.

However, when you are in a stadium, and you see that kicker all by himself at the 35-yard line, your brain starts to short-circuit. Then you see all that empty grass before 21 other players are just standing there looking at each other, and 19 of them can’t move until the ball is caught or hits the ground.

It’s just odd, that’s all. You have to retrain your eyes to watch it.

But after seeing the new kickoff in person and on television a few times now, the conspiracy theory wheels are turning in my head.

Was the entire intent of implementing this overly complicated structure for the play simply designed to frustrate fans, coaches, officials and players into eventually accepting the elimination of kickoffs entirely?

Maybe as early as next year? In other words, roll out this mess of an option for one year, get everyone all riled up about it, and then just make the play itself extinct to solve the grumbling?

We all know that in the wake of the concussion settlement, the league office has been going through a decade-long identity crisis with the inherent physical nature of the sport itself.

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That’s why defensive players aren’t allowed to breathe near a quarterback or hit a receiver in the open field without the threat of a flag, fine, suspension, social media shame and — I assume soon enough — incarceration in a federal prison.

Since the injury rate on kickoffs was significant because of the high-speed collisions of so many players running the whole way down the field, the NFL has tried to minimize the play over the years, making it easier and easier to create touchbacks from both the kicking and receiving end of the equation.

It had gotten to the point that the play was becoming almost unnecessary. As a result, the league has implemented this goofy new kickoff format that we’ve all been talking about for months, which almost forces a return from both teams.

Yet because the return units and coverage units are set up so close to each other now (just five yards apart), the returns themselves aren’t very interesting and are resulting in minimal excitement. Every return looks like a basic run play on first-and-10.

As Steelers’ special teams standout Miles Killebrew accurately predicted back in June, every kickoff is “essentially like one long stretch play.”

Plus, all the rules are nearly impossible to remember off the top of your head when it comes to what is or is not a penalty and where the ball will be spotted as a result of an infraction or a touchback.

As a quick reminder, the ball has to land or be fielded within the “landing zone” between the goal line and the receiving team’s 20-yard line. Any kick that hits the landing zone must be returned.

The ball will be placed at the 30-yard line if it lands in the end zone. If the ball lands inside the 20-yard line and rolls into the end zone, it must be returned or downed. Should that happen, the drive starts at the 20-yard line. If a kick fails to reach the landing zone or goes out of bounds, the receiving team takes possession at its 40-yard line.

The NFL’s hybrid kickoff for 2024. pic.twitter.com/enyoNNEnSp

— Kevin Seifert (@SeifertESPN) March 26, 2024

Got all that? Good. You probably just had to re-read that two or three times. Now try remembering all that if you are a player, broadcaster or official in real-time or if you are just a fan who wants to know what the heck is going on without having to google something on your phone.

Sure, there have been a few big returns after Week 1 of the preseason.

"I'm Parker Washington." - Parker Washington@CPW11_ | #KCvsJAX on CBS pic.twitter.com/tzjVrqujvG

— Jacksonville Jaguars (@Jaguars) August 10, 2024

And, by design, you are seeing a spike in the number of returns.

The NFL's new kickoff rule just got its first full week of action. So how did it play out?

• 82% of kicks returned (22% in 2023)
• 4 returns of more than 45 yards
• 3 super touchbacks (out to 40-yard line)
• Chiefs got burned for a safety

Highlights and lowlights here:…

— John Breech (@johnbreech) August 12, 2024

Unfortunately, as ProFootballTalk opined this week, once the regular season begins, most teams will likely just bang the ball through the end zone anyway and have the offense take the ball at 30 with 70 yards of grass to defend.

The theory is, “Eh, what’s an extra five yards as opposed to running the risk of allowing a big return?” Via the Associated Press, after one preseason week, the average drive start following a kick has been at the 29-yard line anyway.

Furthermore, as PFT points out, if teams adopt a plan to kick the ball out of the end zone every time, they don’t have to waste practice time on the play every week.

My theory is that the NFL is essentially trying to frustrate everyone involved into accepting that kickoffs are going to go away, and they’ll eventually just start every drive at the 25-yard line. For those of us (myself included) who are angrily trying to hold on to the way football used to be, we’ll just give up complaining based on how convoluted they are making the rules.

It’s the same thing when it comes to hitting the quarterback. For all the complaints about the inconsistency of flags to protect QBs from being hit too hard, pretty soon, they’ll just address those problems by saying you can’t tackle the quarterback in the pocket at all.

After decades of fans and media members hyperbolically screaming, “They should just put flag football belts on the QBs,” don’t be shocked if the NFL someday does end up doing that to “remedy” all the confusion about how to hit passers.

Confusion that the league created in the first place, of course.

Anything to avoid the potential for future lawsu… uh, I mean … anything for the safety of their beloved players.

Now then, about that 18th regular season game.

LISTEN: Tim Benz and Sal Capaccio of WGR in Buffalo look at the Steelers-Bills joint practice Thursday and their preseason game Saturday.