Mark Madden: In transition to ESPN and Turner, NHL needs to find the next Charles Barkley

The NHL’s national TV situation has been overhauled. NBC is out. ESPN and Turner Broadcasting are in. Hockey is finally on multiple networks. Pinocchio, you’re a real boy now.

NBC failed at hockey. Their in-studio presentation is dull and lifeless, devoid of personality and edge. Praise is thick, criticism nonexistent. It’s propaganda, not analysis.

Mike Milbury was an exception, but NBC canceled him after Milbury created controversy by pointing out no women were in last season’s NHL playoff bubble “to disrupt your concentration.” (Milbury’s departure was mostly no loss. But at least he wasn’t vanilla.)

Turner and ESPN need to present the NHL like Turner presents the NBA.

I’m minimally interested in the NBA. But if I’m channel surfing and I see Charles Barkley on TNT, I watch. Barkley is entertaining, and he doesn’t carry the NBA’s water.

Barkley has criticized LeBron James. He said Kyrie Irving should “shut the hell up.” It gets heated between Barkley and Shaquille O’Neal. Barkley said professional athletes should jump the line for covid vaccines because they pay more taxes.

Barkley is great TV. He keeps viewers engaged with the NBA. Barkley isn’t a buffoon. He’s sharp as a razor. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Hockey TV needs to find its Barkley.

My first choice is ex-Penguin Ryan Whitney.

Whitney has done some analysis for the NHL Network. But he is best known for his work on Barstool Sports’ “Spittin’ Chiclets” podcast.

Whitney’s wit is rapier sharp. He is funny, biting and can be merciless. He has got edge.

Whitney would have to embrace the idea of offending the brotherhood. Barkley is great, in part, because he unloads on current players when cause dictates. A lot of ex-players don’t want to cross that line — for example, all the ex-NHL players on NBC.

Whitney might also have to quit Barstool. A network gig likely pays more. I assume Whitney doesn’t see “Spittin’ Chiclets” as the pinnacle of his media career, as popular as it may be. (That may be incorrect. Whitney likes the freedom afforded by Barstool.)

If Whitney’s not amenable, two other ex-Penguins jump to mind: Paul Bissonnette, Whitney’s co-host on “Chiclets,” and Colby Armstrong, who does analysis locally and in Canada.

Vanilla is the enemy. Hockey badly needs a Barkley.

What hockey doesn’t need is another ex-goon with a microphone. Too many hockey analysts are former fighters who couldn’t play a lick but are handed mics because they were dressing-room comedians. Then, on TV, all they talk about is grit and toughness. That’s not how the game should be presented, or who should be presenting it.

(Disclaimer: Jay Caufield of AT&T Sports Net is an exception. Caufield was an enforcer. But his powers of analysis have outstripped his playing skills, and he is no proponent of thug hockey.)

Turner and ESPN need to be different. Neither should import much ex-NBC talent beyond Eddie Olczyk and Pierre McGuire, both charismatic and recognizable. Why would Turner or ESPN want to duplicate NBC’s broadcast on their network? NBC failed at hockey.

ESPN has quality hockey people in John Buccigross, Steve Levy and Barry Melrose. But Levy’s first priority will be Monday Night Football. So get new people. Don’t recycle.

I got a tweet that clamored: “Bring back Gary Thorne at all costs.”

Gary Thorne is 72. Why not dig up Foster Hewitt? Thorne is a play-by-play great. But finding the next Thorne is a better idea. Don’t go back to the future. Court the younger demos.

No American network has ever maximized the NHL. Perhaps that’s because the NHL just can’t be maximized.