Mark Madden: Curious coaching decisions part of Steelers latest victory over Cardinals

Punch ’em in the beak, and put it on my bill! The Duck dynasty is upon us, and we’re quacking up! Hey, sports editor: Post these refreshing sports notes on the web. Beak, bill, quack, web, GET IT? I might be mallard-justed. Duck, you suckers!

• Never mind Jordan Berry didn’t know the fake punt had been taken off. It never should have been put on in the first place. When you’re up 10 in the fourth quarter and it’s fourth and 6 at your 40, there should be no options. The only coaching instruction necessary: “DON’T RUN A FAKE PUNT NO MATTER WHAT!”

• Another moronic coaching decision: It’s second and goal at Arizona’s 12 with just under two minutes left. Duck Hodges throws incomplete on a bubble screen. The clock stops. Arizona doesn’t have to burn its final timeout. Run the ball. Keep the clock moving. Mike Tomlin just about had me convinced he was Coach of the Year, too.

• Hodges deserves credit for doing the minimum effectively. But he’s definitely doing the minimum. Arizona is allowing an NFL-worst 294.2 passing yards per game. Hodges threw for 152 yards Sunday. But Hodges has a knack for a decent-sized play at an important time, and his arm is a bit stronger than advertised.

• The Steelers offense deserves credit for doing the minimum effectively. But it’s definitely doing the minimum. The Steelers have scored one offensive touchdown in five of the last six games but have won five out of six. The Steelers need points from the defense and special teams, and they’re getting them.

• The Steelers’ MVP is either the schedule maker or GM Kevin Colbert, because he traded for safety Minkah Fitzpatrick and plucked useful spare parts such as receiver Deon Cain and running back Kerrith Whyte off the scrap heap when injuries crippled the offense. The schedule maker’s contribution is obvious. The Steelers beat bad teams and lose to good teams. They’re playing more bad teams than good.

• The youth on the Steelers’ defense gets a big slice of the credit, and rightly so. You can’t help but pay major attention to Fitzpatrick and T.J. Watt. But save room in that endless team photo for two 30-year-olds — defensive end Cameron Heyward and cornerback Joe Haden. Big plays, glue, consistency, leadership — Heyward and Haden bring it all.

• This reverses my previous instinct, but Bud Dupree’s 9¹⁄₂ sacks have me feeling franchising him for next season might be good, if only because it keeps that amazing defense basically intact.

• JuJu Smith-Moncrief might return for Sunday’s home game vs. Buffalo. Playing would be a nice change from branding and partying.

• When the Pirates hired Mt. Lebanon’s Don Kelly to be their bench coach, their over/under for wins in Las Vegas went to 92. You want celebration beyond reason? Employ a local guy. Is the return of free agent Neil Walker next? Kelly is a good baseball man. He will make little difference. The Pirates are rebranding, not rebuilding.

• Dave Parker didn’t make the Baseball Hall of Fame. Troy Polamalu didn’t make the NFL 100 All-Time Team. Parker’s exclusion is disappointing. Polamalu’s is inexcusable. Halls of fame and lists have become negatives, not positives. We don’t celebrate who makes it. We complain about who doesn’t. Rightly so when Harold Baines is in the Baseball Hall of Fame and two punters are in the NFL 100.

• If you made a list of underrated Steelers, Louis Lipps would top it. Lipps, whose Pittsburgh tenure spanned 1984-91, was the equal of any Steelers receiver ever (save perhaps Antonio Brown). The teams Lipps played on just weren’t very good.

• When the Penguins won Stanley Cups in 2016 and ’17, their main weapon was speed. In ’18 and ’19, they slowed. Now the speed is back. It was evident last Wednesday when the host Penguins beat defending champ St. Louis, 3-0, despite being minus seven regulars. The Penguins’ forecheck demoralized the Blues, who have the NHL’s best group of defensemen. GM Jim Rutherford reloaded on quick by trading for Jared McCann, signing Brandon Tanev and promoting Teddy Blueger. Rutherford fixes problems.

• Coach Mike Sullivan fixed a problem when he convinced his team to adopt better structure and be sharper defensively. The Penguins rank sixth-best in the NHL at an average of 29.4 shots against per game. That would have been more difficult to do had Phil Kessel stayed. When one player is out of step, there’s a definite trickledown

• Since Sidney Crosby got hurt, Evgeni Malkin has six goals and 14 assists in 13 games. In his last six games, Malkin has four goals, eight assists and three multipoint games. Just as important, Malkin is playing a 200-foot game while minimizing turnovers and penalties. It’s the type of hockey Malkin needs to play (even when Crosby returns).

• I can’t wait to not watch Pitt play in the Quick Lane Bowl at Detroit on Dec. 26, where it faces MAC school Eastern Michigan. The bowl, location and opponent all are an embarrassment. (Also, Liverpool FC is at Leicester City that day. Huge match.) Life in the Quick Lane, surely make you lose your mind…