Mark Madden: Cheating can't become an accepted part of baseball

Plenty of dumb stuff has been said by pitchers since MLB decided to crack down on the use of foreign substances to improve grip.

Gerrit Cole of the New York Yankees (and formerly of this parish) seemed to be nearing a breakdown when he spoke Wednesday after pitching: “It’s so hard to grip the ball.”

Cole had just thrown eight innings, allowing four hits, two walks and one run. He threw 70 strikes on 104 pitches.

So maybe it wasn’t that hard to grip the ball. But Cole never has needed much of an excuse to whine.

Baseball is a game with great tradition and minimal honor.

There has always been cheating: The Chicago White Sox threw the 1919 World Series. Eight players got suspended for life. Houston stole the 2017 World Series via sign-stealing. No players got punished at all. That’s MLB’s “evolution.”

Gaylord Perry threw spitballs en route to 314 wins, bragged about it in his book and still got in the Hall of Fame.

The controversy involving substances used to improve grip is reminiscent of the steroid scandal in the wake of 1998’s epic home-run race between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. MLB and its stooge media knew, ignored, then developed a conscience when things got ridiculous.

MLB must be blamed for allowing the prevalent and long-term use of Spider Tack, etc.

But MLB should not feel obligated to let cheating continue, no matter how much Cole whines.

Cole isn’t the only one.

Tampa Bay’s Tyler Glasnow, another ex-Pirate, absurdly blames his elbow injury on having to wean himself off gripping substances. Maybe he should go to rehab.

The Los Angeles Dodgers’ Trevor Bauer wants balls sprayed with something sticky when they’re taken out of the box. Why not just move the mound 10 feet closer?

The hitters are strangely silent through all this. If pitchers are campaigning to use stickum, the batters should be lobbying for corked bats.

Sports were a lot better when it wasn’t all one big union brotherhood.

There’s no compromise. Cheating can’t become an accepted part of any game. If it is, I’m not interested. (Then again, I’m not very interested in baseball now.)

Baseball’s commissioner is only out for the bottom line, as are the owners. The players and their agents are also 100% selfish.

Who’s looking out for the game? That used to be the commissioner’s job. That’s specifically why the office was created.

But the commissioner long since has become the owners’ bobo. Rob Manfred is no exception.

Baseball stinks, anyway. Long games will now be even longer as the umpires frisk pitchers for Spider Tack. Every pitcher will want to work day games so he can wear sunscreen.

Analytics have killed baseball. It’s all three true outcomes, spin rate, launch angle and defensive shifts. Nobody runs the bases. Entertainment has been sacrificed at the altar of efficiency. MLB seems headed for the dystopian future prophesized in the last season of “Brockmire.”

Baseball isn’t alone when it comes to not getting it. Basketball is all dunks and 3-pointers. Hockey is all clogging lanes and blocking shots. (Don’t look at attendance and TV ratings now. Look in five to 10 years, once more people perceive how boring those sports are.)

Football is the only sport that works to stay ahead of the entertainment curve and gives customers what they want. Football errs on the side of fun.

The NFL’s Roger Goodell has flaws. But in the big picture, Goodell is the all-time best commissioner of any major sport. (Consider how Goodell handles cheating: punish it, sweep it under the rug, forget about it, it disappears. You might not like it. But it works.)