Lori Falce: Whataboutism and the pain competition

Whataboutism got a lot of attention during the past few elections.

It’s the tendency for someone to deflect the question about one thing with a counter about something else. Ask a politician about a sex scandal, get a return query about why his opponent did another shady thing — whether that thing is real or rumor.

It also raises its head around things such as school shootings when both parties use whataboutism to negate the opposition’s positions. The chicken-or-the-egg argument about violence or mental health is ridiculous because two things can be true at the same time.

But an odd offshoot of the pingpong game played by deflecting topics or blame is about what is worthy of the public’s attention when it comes to bad news.

Take Damar Hamlin, for instance.

The 24-year-old Buffalo Bills safety was playing on “Monday Night Football” with millions watching when he made a fairly routine tackle, stood up and then dropped to the ground. It was a scary moment that left people feeling shaken. The game was suspended. Hamlin was resuscitated and placed on a ventilator. It was Thursday before truly good news was heard.

People dealt with their feelings by following his case online and with an outpouring of goodwill toward Hamlin’s charity supporting kids via a two-year-old GoFundMe for a McKees Rocks toy drive. Donations have topped $7 million.

I made a post about the incident Monday night. Most comments were supportive. Some had questions. But then there was bite.

“I really could care less about a football player that was injured,” said a high school classmate. “A pope died…”

Well, yes, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI did die three days earlier. But that had nothing to do with a young man having cardiac arrest in Cincinnati on live television.

“Nothing mentioned about the police chief who lost his life and another officer wounded a short distance from Pittsburgh,” said another person.

Except that I had posted about the death of Brackenridge police Chief Justin McIntire and injured Tarentum Officer Jordan Schrecengost separately.

There is no reason we cannot have room in our brains for multiple problems and in our hearts for multiple people.

The idea that we have to compete over whose pain is worse is destructive. Acknowledging one person’s hardship doesn’t detract from someone else’s troubles. By the same token, being angry about the amount of support for a football player hooked up to machines to keep him alive doesn’t make anyone’s life easier or better or happier.

If we are ever going to solve any of the many problems we should be thinking about simultaneously, we need more people coming together in empathy — no ifs, ands or whatabouts.