Lori Falce: Does love really never fail?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

“Love never fails.”

According to 1 Corinthians, I have never been in love.

While I strive for patience every day, I fall down more often than I rise to the challenge. I want to be calm and long-suffering as I help my son with his math homework but, oh my God, will you just stop talking about video games for five minutes and solve this problem because sixth grade was a long time ago for me and I don’t remember how.

I want to believe I am kind, but I have once too often laughed so hard I snorted when watching karma bite someone firmly in the derriere.

I envy the people who tell me what their Valentine’s plans are while I run my fingers over my husband’s wedding ring on the chain around my neck, where it has been since I took it off his hand in the hospital where he died.

I boast and I am proud of some loves. I dishonor others, often without trying.

I am too frequently angry and I do not need to record wrongs because I never forget them. Just ask my mother, who planned her whole wedding to my stepfather around 6-year-old me wearing my Sunday school yellow dress that was itchy and uncomfortable. My cousin got a new dress for the occasion. My mother is reminded of this regularly.

I fear I have not protected or trusted when I should. I may hope but not believe. I wish I persevered.

Love may never fail, though it feels like I have failed at love.

But maybe, biblical prose not withstanding, it is in our trials that we know we do love.

There are so many ways for love to express itself. Love of God or love of mankind. Love of country or love of neighbor. The way you love your parents or your children. The way you love your friends or your sisters or brothers. The love for the person who takes your breath away and asks you to share a life.

And none of those will be perfect. They will be tested daily. Our love falters with doubt and questions, frustration and exhaustion, growth and pain and sorrow.

It is easy to love your country if you never have to prove it, or to love your brother if you never have to share the back seat. It’s when you choose to continue to love despite the hurdles that you find the depth of your feelings.

The victim of abuse who still finds strength to pray where he was preyed upon. The friends who come to laugh and cry at a funeral. The sister who says “you drive me crazy” and “you’re the only one who understands” in the same phone call.

Those may be a different love than Corinthians extols, but they are love just the same.

And love that gets up when it falls really never fails.