Lori Falce: Do we call her Kamala or Harris?

Since President Joe Biden stepped out of the presidential race, first opening the door and then endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris, there has been a segment of the population debating one critical question.

Not the way the convention will work. Not who the running mate will be.

What do we call her?

For some, this is about the correct pronunciation. It’s like Comma-la, not Ka-MALL-la. There’s a great clue in the name her stepchildren use — Mamala. The Mama part is built right in.

But no, this is a question of first name or last — and why.

TikTok, Twitter and Facebook are all rich with comments left on posts that just refer to Kamala. It’s disrespectful, they say. It belittles her because she’s a woman or because she’s a person of color.

I get it. As a child of Catholic schools and the grandchild of a farmer’s wife with a bit of a chip on her shoulder about propriety, I’ve often struggled with walking the tightrope of what is appropriate with what is friendly. I spent about 20 years carefully constructing sentences so that I didn’t have to use any name for my best friend’s mom. Using a one-size-fits-all “ma’am” is a lifesaver.

It is true that we tend to speak about men in positions of power by using their last names. Biden, Trump, Obama, Putin, Clinton, etc. When women run, things are often boiled down to a first name. Kamala or Hillary. Sometimes it’s a nickname. AOC instead of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, RBG instead of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, MTG instead of Marjorie Taylor Greene.

But is that about a lack of respect? Plenty of men have campaigned on a first name. Signs at the 2016 Democratic National Convention just said “JOE” in block letters when Biden spoke. They’ve used nicknames. “I Like Ike.” They’ve been known by initials, like FDR, JFK, RFK and LBJ.

Maybe the measure of respect is in referring to them the way they choose.

Trump has built his whole brand on the cachet of his last name, so it is little wonder that he even refers to himself by it in the third person. The vice president, on the other hand, has personally embraced her first name on her advertising. She has stood in front of a dark blue background with “KAMALA” repeated on it as a motif. When she spoke in Milwaukee on Tuesday, the signs didn’t say Harris.

Does it matter what we call our leaders — particularly women? Yes, and no. We don’t need to argue amongst ourselves about what the right answer is when the right answer is being demonstrated by the candidate.

What is important is that we have more chances to say women’s names — first or last — when we are making decisions about who will lead us.