Editorial: Break bread, not hearts, this Thanksgiving
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Thanksgiving is not the same from one house to the next.
Some families spend all day with relatives coming and going, talking and laughing and eating from an endless buffet. Some gather around an elegantly laid out table for a formal dinner. Some hold hands as they say grace. Some shout as they cheer for football.
Whatever the tradition, the purpose is the same. These customs bring us back to the people we care about. They remind us of the ones who are no longer there. They are the ties that bind.
So what do we do when the ties are unraveling?
Thanksgiving can be challenging in the best of years. This is not one of those good years. Presidential election years bring a special kind of tension that tests our relationships and shows our differences, even with loved ones. There are families that will not share turkey and pie this week because of the deep divide over voting.
But Americans have come together after difficult times before.
Thanksgiving became a national holiday in 1863 — not just after the Civil War but during it. It was a time when the nation was divided and families splintered over beliefs about politics, government and morality.
During the Great Depression. After world wars. Amid times of social unrest. No matter what, we find reasons to give thanks — and reasons to come together.
Perhaps it is because we know that the dinner table has a kind of magical diplomatic power.
No matter the grudge or the argument, a full table can be something where we all find common ground. When we pass the stuffing, we are acknowledging one small area of agreement. When our mouths are full, we cannot spit angry words. We have to take the time to chew and swallow, and perhaps that gives us time to reconsider cutting remarks.
“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody,” wrote Oscar Wilde, “even one’s own relations.”
We do not have a national holiday for forgiveness or peacemaking. We do not have a holiday where we bury grievances or choke down bad feelings.
What we have is this opportunity to find the good grace to be kind and polite to the people for whom that can sometimes be the hardest — the people we love but sometimes do not like.
All of us can extend a hand of welcome and give a smile of acknowledgement. We can talk about the yams and for this one moment, forget about anger and hurt.
Thanksgiving is not the same in every house. It isn’t a struggle for everyone. But in the political tough times, we have to work just a little bit harder to break bread and not hearts.
Happy Thanksgiving.