The tiny footprint is protected by wings.

It belongs to Molly Rose, whose mom and dad have memorialized her making a mark in this world on the back of a black T-shirt.

She will never walk on this earth, but her parents hope the image will become part of the healing during an unimaginable journey for others who have experienced the profound loss of a child.

The fabric bearing the design is more than a garment.

It’s a small piece of comfort for dads who have had to say goodbye to their beloved son or daughter.

Sara and Brian Fricke of Parks Township have made it their mission to embrace dads who are grieving the loss of their infant. Their daughter, Molly Rose, was born still at 1:30 p.m. Nov. 22 at 34 weeks and three days.

“If you don’t go through this, you don’t know what it feels like,” said Brian, a Murrysville native. “I am surprised no one has done this for the guys. There is so much focus on the mom and baby, and I understand why, but the guys get pushed back. We are going through this, too.”

Louis B. Ruediger | Tribune-Review The foot cast of infant Molly Rose Fricke rests near a shadow box from the hospital containing personal items to honor her memory.  

Feeling the silence

Sara, 28, was pregnant with the couple’s third child. The mom realized she hadn’t felt any movement from the baby for a day or so.

She called her doctor, who instructed her to come to West Penn Hospital in Bloomfield.

The couple was told there was no heartbeat.

What happened in the next 24 hours was unbelievable to comprehend, the couple said. They had two healthy children — Jax is 3 and Stevie is 1½.

Louis B. Ruediger | Tribune-Review Brian Fricke, and his wife, Sara, spend time with their two children, Stevie, 1, and Jax, 3, in their Parks Township home earlier this year.  

Nothing with the third pregnancy was out of the ordinary.

Brian, 31, had brought his wife to the hospital thinking she might need to be monitored overnight, and that he would go to work, and pick her up in the morning.

In that moment, their world stopped, they said, when they heard there was a knot in the baby’s umbilical cord. She would have to deliver the baby.

As the medical staff attended to Sara, she noticed her husband sitting alone in the corner of a hospital room. She was surrounded by health care professionals monitoring her every move.

Her temperature was being taken. Her blood pressure was constantly monitored. She was asked how she was doing.

People were holding her hand and preparing to administer an epidural for delivery.

Minutes before, Brian was holding onto his wife when he said he felt like he might faint.

He is uncomfortable around needles. He went and sat down.

As she faced the toughest day of her life — the delivery of her precious baby girl, Molly Rose, who was to be born still — Sara continually glanced over at her partner, her husband, the father of her children, her best friend.

“I am in the hospital bed watching all of this,” said Sara, a native of Avonmore, tearing up. “I looked over and saw Brian. No one was with him. Everyone was focused on helping me. I wanted someone to check on him.”

Reaching out to other dads

The Frickes said they never want another dad to feel that loneliness.

The couple created M.R. Boxes — for Molly Rose Boxes — which are filled with deodorant, shampoo, soap, a toothbrush, toothpaste, flip flops, socks, shorts, underwear and a Molly Rose T-shirt with an imprint of the baby’s footprint and wings.

Louis B. Ruediger | Tribune-Review M.R. Box contains essentials for fathers grieving the loss of their child. It was created by the Fricke family.  

They are available at no charge for dads and partners at West Penn Hospital. Brian Fricke hopes to have the care packages in all maternity wards in the area.

The shirts were created by Tees-N-Tops in Vandergrift. Autumn Albert, whose family owns the store, is a classmate of Sara’s from Kiski Area High School. She said Brian and Sara are showing love for others while they’re hurting. The parents helped create the shirt, which they wanted to include Molly Rose’s footprint.

“I will do whatever I can to help her,” Albert said. “She is a great person, and the grieving process has been hard for her and her family. They are such sweet, kind people and will do anything for anyone.”

What Sara and Brian are doing is definitely needed, said Dr. Marta Kolthoff, a perinatologist specializing in reproductive genetics and the lead physician of Olivia’s Angels Perinatal Palliative Care Program at Allegheny Health Network. She has been an advocate for babies and their parents.

Kolthoff said she and her team have been thinking of something to do to provide additional support beyond the mother.

“It is important to think about them and what they go through at a time like this,” Kolthoff said. “This is very powerful and special for dads and partners. It is symbolic and shows that dads are grieving, too. It acknowledges the dads. They deserve to be supported.”

Studies by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that fathers tended to grieve more in isolation. Many attempted to avoid discussing their feelings of grief, in contrast to more open communication by mothers, the study found.

Fathers also try to deflect attention from their suffering in an effort to prioritize support for their partners.

“It’s OK to show your emotions,” Brian said. “It has helped me. And it also helps to know you aren’t going through this alone.”

It is not unusual for dads to withdraw from their family and possibly turn to alcohol or substance abuse, Kolthoff said, adding they are less likely to reach out for mental health help. “It is such an incredible and horrible loss. It’s like peeling an onion — each layer adds grief because the parents don’t only lose a child, they lose hopes and dreams.”

She added with the death of a baby there is such a short time parents have with their child. And that makes grief so much tougher. It’s a grief that doesn’t fit in with the larger society’s attitude about dealing with death and loss, Kolthoff said.

“It can bring a lack of support for parents during the grieving process and can prolong emotional pain,” Kolthoff said.

Although dads don’t go through the physical delivery of the baby, they still feel pain, Brian said. He found himself leaving the hospital to go to a store for supplies because he didn’t bring anything.

He didn’t have a hospital wristband and was questioned about who he was going to see when he came back. The couple wants to introduce multicolored tie-dye colored wristbands for the dads in the hospital, so when one of the employees sees the band they know the situation.

They chose that because a baby after loss is a rainbow baby.

“I needed to go out and get some things because I was dressed for work,” he said. “I wasn’t prepared for what was happening.”

Louis B. Ruediger | Tribune-Review Sara Fricke shares “Molly Bears” with her children, Stevie, 1, and Jax, 3.  

The couple left the hospital with a photo collage and memory boxes, one for Sara and one for Molly Rose’s siblings. In the boxes were toy bears, “Molly Bears.”

The children hold on tight to them.

“We want to send ‘Molly Bear’ hugs to other people who are going through this terrible situation that happened to us,” Sara said. “We want to create more awareness that this does happen. When you hear those words ‘I am sorry. There is no heartbeat,’ it takes time to process what you just heard. I remember just staring at the ceiling.”

Baby Molly Rose stayed with Sara and Brian until her uncle, a funeral director, arrived. They held a memorial service. The couple has Molly Rose’s ashes in a necklace and bracelet.

An idea to help

Brian had the idea for the M.R. Boxes and shared it with the Allegheny Health Network bereavement team, who were amazing during this time, the couple said.

Molly Rose was 4 pounds, 2 ounces and 18 inches long. They helped give her a bath and a haircut. They put on an angel gown made from donated wedding dresses.

“We will always talk about Molly Rose,” Sara said. “When I held her, I didn’t want to put her down. I wanted to hold her forever. I thought if she would take a breath, I would feel it.”

Her due date was the week of Dec. 31-Jan. 4. Stevie would often kiss her mom’s belly and say “baby.”

“If you are not sure what to say, don’t say anything or compare it to something else, because it is hard to compare this to anything else,” Brian said. “Say, ‘I am sorry. I don’t know what to say.’ ”

They originally thought about making bags full of snacks, but that is something the hospital can provide. So they decided to create an Amazon wish list for items in the boxes if people want to buy any of the items. Monetary donations can be made through the church here. There is a Facebook page.

Partnering with the church

The couple talked to their pastor, the Rev. Joshua C. Strunk at the Community Church of Pine Run EMC (Evangelical Methodist Church) in Washington Township. He suggested partnering with the church to be an extension of its nonprofit.

“The focus is on teaching people to be part of their community,’” said Strunk of Hyde Park, who has a doctorate in educational leadership. “They had this idea, and we want to help. We are here for the community, and we connect with them to meet their needs. My prayer is to find people like Sara and Brian and help them be able to share what they are passionate about.”

JoAnne Klimovich Harrop | Tribune-Review Rev. Joshua C. Strunk, pastor at the Community Church of Pine Run EMC (Evangelical Methodist Church) in Washington Township, poses for a photo. He invited Sara and Brian Fricke to partner with the the church’s non-profit status for their project M.R. Boxes.  

He said it’s been a really emotional time for the couple.

“What they are doing is amazing,” he said. “When tragedy strikes, instead of dwelling on the unexplainable, they saw a gap that needed to be filled. There are things in life that we never get answers to. Life comes out of death, and joy comes out of pain.”

Sara compiles yearly photo albums of each child, and she said she is sad to make one for Molly Rose because it will be the only one.

“They have very few moments to hold onto,” Kolthoff said. “It’s important to have memory boxes with pictures and a lock of hair and footprints.”

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