Carnegie pastor and wife hoping to adopt 3 Ukrainian children
Share this post:
Three foster children huddled in a basement in Ukraine await a Facebook Messenger call from a couple in Carnegie who are hoping to adopt them. The Rev. John Charest and his wife, Laryssa, check social media constantly to see if the kids are online so they can reach out.
“Sometimes, they don’t pick up the phone,” said Charest, pastor of St. Peter & St. Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church, after a March 1 service to pray for peace in Ukraine. “It is so emotionally difficult because we can’t go there and they can’t come here. We love them, and it’s about getting them home safe, here with us.”
John Charest is from Rhode Island. His wife is from Chicago, where they lived for 10 years before moving to Pittsburgh. They’ve been married for 11 years and have a son, 7-year-old Sebastian.
The couple said they have more than enough love for sisters Viktoria, 13, and Ivanka, 12, and their brother, Nestor, who turned 10 on Tuesday. The three children have been hiding in the basement of a neighbor’s house in Ukraine since the military assault on Ukraine ordered by Russian President Vladimir Putin two weeks ago.
The Charests tried to connect with Nestor to sing “Happy Birthday.” They weren’t able to, but talked to the children’s foster father, who said he got Nestor a “Paw Patrol” themed cake. They also learned the children’s school had been “shot up” by the Russians that day, Laryssa said.
Looking at a family photo of the six of them — all smiling — Laryssa Charest recalled meeting the girls when they came to the U.S. in 2017 through a program in Chicago called Project 143, which brings orphans to the United States.
Laryssa speaks Ukrainian. She noticed two girls didn’t have a sponsor, so she and her husband decided to host them.
“I was drawn to those kids,” Laryssa said Monday inside St. Peter & St. Paul Ukrainian Orthodox Church in Carnegie, where her husband has been the pastor for three years. “When they were with us, they told us that they had a brother and asked if they could bring him. The minute I saw him, it was love at first sight.”
They met Nestor in 2018.
Traci Mai, Ukraine program director for Project 143, knows the Charests. She said it’s a heartbreaking situation. Project 143 hosts children from Ukraine twice a year so they can experience life in America.
Mai said there are 100,000 orphaned children in Ukraine.
“It’s a traumatic and horrifying situation, and there is so much worry right now,” Mai said. “The pandemic was tough, and the war is tougher. John and Laryssa love these children. They want to get them to safety. But it’s a complex process.”
A complicated road ahead
The couple began researching the proper adoption paperwork before the pandemic — which has become even more complicated because of the war.
According to Ukraine rules, when kids are in the care of a foster family, they can’t be adopted. They need to be living in an orphanage, according to Judy Winger, director of adoptions for CCAI, an intercountry adoption accredited agency.
The situation in Ukraine has halted all adoptions. There are 45 Ukraine adoptions in process with CCAI and about 175 in total among all of the agencies adopting from Ukraine in the U.S., Winger said.
“Not all Ukrainian children are able to be adopted,” Winger said, even if they have personal ties to a family. If they are in foster care now, “there isn’t much (the Charests) can do.”
Winger said Ukraine social services may place a child or children with a foster family. The foster family would have to agree to move the kids to an orphanage.
“Ukraine social services may think the children don’t need to be sent across the ocean because the family they are with is providing for them,” Winger said. “Parents in the U.S. fall in love with these children and they want to adopt, but we have to abide by their country’s rules.”
Laryssa said she prays the rules will change.
“If they change, it will be easier for us to adopt them,” she said. “Even if something happens where we can’t, we will always stay in contact with them.”
Staying connected
The couple is grateful to Starlink, owned by Elon Musk, which is providing Wi-Fi in Ukraine. Laryssa said she is cautious about too much communicating and which technology they use, because they don’t know who might be listening.
She and her husband are worried about Nestor, who has special needs. The couple has done the training to adopt a child with special needs as well as the training for adopting multiple kids and kids older than their own.
If Nestor comes to the U.S., there are so many ways to help him, Laryssa said.
Pittsburgh is the perfect place for the children, John said, because it’s “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.”
“Whenever something bad happens, Pittsburghers gather around each other,” he said. “It’s a place with an unbelievable acceptance of others and one that certainly has embraced Ukraine and the people from Ukraine who live in this city.”
Praying for peace
It was in Ukraine where John Charest, 39, met Laryssa, 39. They were on a mission trip in 2007. In 2008, on another mission trip, they got to know each other better.
John gathered with his congregation March 1 to pray for peace. St. Peter & St. Paul and Holy Trinity Ukrainian Catholic Church, also in Carnegie, will alternate Tuesday prayer services as long as the conflict continues.
“I think at first we were all in a state of denial,” John said. “Denial is the first stage of grief. I am blessed to have this voice to speak and to also support the Russian people. This can’t be easy on them, either. It’s about community here.”
He said the most challenging part of his job has been to keep up with everything. He said someone might expect him to say that it was difficult to show people where God is in all of this.
“The news is full of examples of how people are uniting to take care of Ukraine and Ukrainians,” he said. “The outpouring of people in this community calling and asking how they can help has been overwhelming and beautiful. That sense of duty to do good is intentional. Across the globe, we’re seeing many people unite and offer aid.
“That’s where God is in all of this.”
Making a change
Laryssa said she is passionate about working to change the process so kids don’t have to go to an orphanage before they can be adopted.
“That needs to change,” she said.
The last time the six of them were together, the family celebrated all four children’s birthdays with cookie cakes and pastries, John said. They had such a great time singing “Happy Birthday” — four times, one time for each of them. They really wanted to sing to Nestor this week, Laryssa said. She said she sees love when she watches her son interact with three children.
“That was fun celebrating all of our birthdays,” Sebastian said. “I want them to be part of our family. I want them to be my sisters and brother.”