Trib introduces ‘Asking for a Friend,’ a column for navigating life’s everyday quandaries

The Trib is launching “Asking for a Friend,” a column that tackles life’s little conundrums before they snowball into full-blown crises.

Whether you’re unsure about whether to text back or how to gracefully handle a house guest who won’t leave, we’ve got you covered with advice that’s both practical and, hopefully, a little entertaining. Think of it as your friendly guide to surviving the chaos of daily life, one awkward situation at a time.

Have a burning question or a sticky situation that needs untangling? Don’t suffer in silence — Asking for a Friend is here for you. Whether it’s a social faux pas or an etiquette emergency, we want to hear from you. We know you’re just asking for a friend.

Submit your questions to: askingforafriend@triblive.com

We’ll do our best to tackle your dilemmas with respect, wisdom and a touch of humor. After all, we’re all in this awkward, perplexing world together!

Q: After not calling us for a whole month, our friends from Pennsylvania just informed us that they are coming to visit us at our Arizona vacation home. Without asking, they told us the dates and that they would be staying with us. Mind you, they’ve been our guests in the past, but we think they’re being a bit pushy this time around. How do we handle this?

Sincerely, Adele and Carl from Greensburg

A: Ah, the classic “we’re coming over whether you like it or not” maneuver. Classic, but let’s face it, it’s 2025. First off, kudos to your friends for their confidence — if only we all had friends who can provide a free stay at their Airbnb.

Here’s the thing: While it’s lovely that they want to visit, it’s completely fair for you to set some boundaries. You don’t need to be a pushover just because someone is showing up unannounced.

Try this approach:

First, breathe. It’s easy to get frustrated, but a calm response will always be more effective.

Be honest. You can politely tell them that the sudden visit is a little too much for you. Something like, “We’re excited to see you, but we weren’t expecting guests. Can we work together to figure out a better time?”

Offer alternatives. If you’re not cool with having them stay at your place, gently suggest nearby hotels or Airbnb options. You could say, “We haven’t heard from you in a while, so I’m afraid our guest room is already spoken for.”

Don’t forget your boundaries. Friends should respect your space and time, so don’t feel guilty for speaking up. It’s not rude, it’s necessary self-care.

If they’re real friends, they’ll understand. If they don’t, you’ve got every right to put your foot down — sometimes, a little space is exactly what a friendship needs to thrive.

Q: We are having a bunch of friends over for the Super Bowl. We love having people over. But some of our friends overstay their welcome. They stay long after the game is over, ignoring the fact that we have to get up early the next day and go to work. How do we deal with these thoughtless guests?

Lynne in Sarver

A: We get it. It’s never easy to kick out the lingering guests without becoming the villain of the night. But let’s be honest – it’s not you, it’s them. They’re the ones who don’t realize that the Super Bowl’s over, the snacks are long gone, and the only thing left on TV is the post-game analysis, which for some people can be a snooze fest.

Here’s a little game plan: Start dropping hints. Begin by casually checking the time. “Wow, 11 p.m. already?! I’ll be a zombie at work tomorrow!” Or maybe start yawning dramatically. The key is to let them know the fun is winding down without it being too awkward. When it hits a reasonable hour, start cleaning the trays of Doritos and chicken wings and say something like, “OK, friends, it’s been such a blast, but I’ve got an early morning. You’re welcome to grab the leftover Buffalo chicken dip on your way out!”

If you’re feeling a little less direct (and who can blame you?), you could simply do an Irish goodbye and head to bed while everyone is still entertained by the TV. You can always let your spouse get rid of them.

For guests who are clueless and refuse to take your hints, you may need to be a bit more upfront. With a friendly smile, you can say, “I’ve got to get up early for work, so I’m going to have to call it a night. It’s been so much fun having you over.

Remember, being a good host doesn’t mean sacrificing your sanity or your sleep.