Cleveland: The Turnpike staycation
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Being a stalwart Terrible Towel twirler and lover of all things Pittsburgh Steelers, it pains me to admit it, but there are some pretty cool places to visit in Cleveland Browns territory.
Now this may not be a “staycation” in its purest form, but you can easily drive out and back in a day to explore the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. It’s a two-hour trek from Pittsburgh. But my group decided to make a weekend of it and added some extra stops — and it was worth it.
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame
The star attraction of our weekend was to visit the homage to rock. Like a great pyramid, the modern glass structure designed by I.M. Pei rises from the banks of Lake Erie and welcomes visitors with a huge, hands-on sculpture of blazing red letters proclaiming, “LONG LIVE ROCK.” It’s the perfect background for an Instagram-worthy selfie to start the day.
Once inside, the main floor is home to a winding, well-stocked gift shop, cafe and stage for live performances. On the lower level is where most of the main collection is housed, ranging from Hank Williams’ striped Western suit and custom cowboy boots to Michael Jackson’s sequined silver glove; from Elvis’ custom motorcycle to John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics for “In My Life.”
I was as enthralled by the costumes and memorabilia as I was the actual musical instruments. Most huge performers were tiny people. Stevie Nicks’ black handkerchief dress has a teenie bodice. Elvis’ gold lamé jacket designed for his ’68 Comeback Special would be considered small by today’s standards. And Prince’s wee eggplant-colored “vest” could be from a doll wardrobe.
On to the instruments: The keyboard of the Doors’ Ray Manzarek made such great music that its simplicity is astonishing. ZZ Top’s fur-covered custom drums match the iconic beards of Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill. Upstairs, Eddie Van Halen explains on film how he came to make his Frankenstrat electric guitar.
Another level features several walls with Hall of Fame members’ names, signatures and band logos flanking several screens and headsets. Fans can dial up any artist’s induction and relive the moment.
There’s a “Garage” level where budding musicians can make their own music and form their own bands. Showcased nearby are lists of amenities demanded by touring artists. On her Velvet Rope tour, Janet Jackson desired real drinking glasses, not plastic, and two large, high-quality white floral arrangements. She snubbed lunchmeat. “ABSOLUTELY NO COLD CUTS,” according to the contract.
The Connor Theater showcases a stunning 12-minute film by the late Jonathan Demme, which closes with a lengthy cut of Prince’s moving performance of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” at the 2004 Hall of Fame induction ceremony. The theatre features special lighting, lasers and sound effects and was one of our favorite features of the museum.
Admission ranges from $18 to $28 per person, depending on age. Check out rockhall.com
A Christmas Story House
This is the holy grail for fans of this classic holiday film featuring poor Ralphie Parker, who wants nothing more than “an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle” but is continuously rebuffed by adults and Santa, who insist, “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
This complex consists of the original house featured in the movie, a museum house filled with movie props, a gift shop, car museum and Bumpus House for overnight guests. It’s all wedged together in Cleveland’s Tremont neighborhood. I can’t imagine how the neighbors live with the constant horde of visitors (“like a herd of 785 smelly hound dogs”).
What’s best about this stop is that visitors can touch EVERYTHING in the house. The sink, the soap, the leg lamp crate, anything. I opened the cabinet under the sink to make sure Ralphie’s little brother, Randy, wasn’t hiding inside.
The attraction is open year-round. Admission is free for age 2 and younger. Others pay $10-$13. The gift shop offers a variety of leg lamps, if you desire for your own home “the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window,” as Ralphie says in the movie.
Parking is a premium. There are two small, free lots. Save yourself the hassle and pay one of the enterprising locals $10 to park in their yard. More info: achristmasstoryhouse.com.
West Side Market
Cleveland’s oldest public market is home to more than 100 vendors, selling everything from lychees to pig’s butt (no, really). Think of this as the Strip District, but inside a beautiful, historic building.
Fresh fish is showcased alongside shrimp the size of a man’s fist. Soup bones, whole tenderloins and smoked sausages are just a few of the meats. Other vendors offer Indian and Mexican prepared foods and spices. Many offer fresh bagels, pastries and other sweets. The olive oil booth caught my eye and I ended up buying a few bottles of dipping oils as gifts — and one for myself, too. I also was intrigued by the beautiful handmade pierogies with rope edges.
A cafe inside offers breakfast, lunch and brunch dishes prepared with ingredients from the vendors. Hungarian hash, Havana stacker, Cleveland’s own pierogi melt and wild mushroom grilled cheese are just a few.
There’s plenty of free parking. The market is closed on Tuesdays and Thursdays; for hours and more, see westsidemarket.org.
Winking Lizard
Founded in 1983, the Winking Lizard Tavern is now a chain of 21 restaurants across Northeast and Central Ohio. It’s a good choice for a quick bite and a cold brew (think dozens of drafts and an even wider selection of bottles). We happened to be visiting during the Penn State bowl game. It was featured prominently on one of the restaurant’s 20-plus televisions.
We ordered the pot roast sandwich with stout gravy on grilled sourdough bread (yum!) and then politely asked for even more gravy to smother the whole thing. Served with fries, it was a warm, savory choice for $8.79. The sweet and sour wings were spicier than expected and a difficult decision considering there are 22 varieties. A serving of 20 is $16.29. Rounding out the meal was a steak and cheese sandwich served on garlic bread with a side of fries for $9.79 — another winner. And the take-home pan-style pizza was perfectly cooked. We’ll be sure to visit again.
Check out the 10-page menu at winkinglizard.com.